Photobooth
by Tragedy Tay
Summary: But In Between Summer is who she is stuck with, and In Between Summer's eyes don't open up enough.


Title: Photobooth

Summary: But In-Between Summer is who she is stuck with, and In-Between Summer's eyes don't open up enough.

Rating: PG-13

AN: Ahhh, back to the angst. It feels right.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_And as the summer's ending,  
The cool air will push your hard heart away.  
You were so condescending.  
And this is all that's left,  
Scraping paper to document.  
I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on._

-Death Cab

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He left on a Friday.

He called three Fridays later.

That was the night she sobbed into the phone for an hour, so happy, so insanely relieved, that she didn't even need or want to hear apologies just yet.

"Summer," he whispered to her, and he sounded nervous and regretful, and she was so damn crazy for him.

She laughed, choked with tears, when he sounded worried about her, and thought back to all the dreams of him floating dead in the ocean.

For the first ten minutes, all she could manage to say was his name, and a few monsyllables.

She's pretty sure that she loved him.

Finally he stopped talking about why he HAD to leave, and she licked her lips that he would not kiss. "You stupid asshole."

She hung up.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Oh, well," said Marissa, three days after he left. "He wasn't even your type. So annoying and talky. You hate that!" Marissa laughed and added, "Ou ton type, Summer!" and Summer nodded. Her head was too heavy, and Seth wouldn't even stay with her in French.

She jumped into the ocean, and forgot to hold her breath.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You come back," Summer said the second time he called. "You come back RIGHT NOW!"

"Why?" he said, weary and angry.

"Because!"

Because Summer wanted to be selfish. Because Newport was suddenly hell. Because Marissa was too much for Summer to handle. Because she hadn't counted all the freckles on his arm.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You know, I don't want you to be anything you're not. I never did."

It was very late when he said that, but for some reason it stuck in her head.

"Huh?" she said, the phone drooping faster than her eyelids.

"I just want you to be Summer."

She closed her eyes. "Whoever Summer is," she whispered, her lips pressed to the phone. She fell asleep to him breathing across 900 miles.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

She has forgotten their first kiss.

She remembers the events leading up to it, but not the kiss itself.

Because remembering the last time is more important than remembering the first time, but now there are no more kisses. That is her last comfort, to be able to know, even if all she can know is that it has ended.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next phone call, they fight.

She fights, because she wants something to fight for, and he whispers soothing words that only enrage her more. Finally he screams back, because that is what they do, they shout and push and hate. But it's far too hard to mend what's broken when the distance is bigger than the length of a room.

He yelled that he left because of her.

She paused.

He took it back no less than ten times before she breathed into the phone that she was glad for it, and hung up.

He cried, and she didn't.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Zach was not right. Zach was not for her. Zach tasted like ash and smoke and Old Summer. And Summer is stuck somewhere between who she was and who she is and who she wants and it's all strangely floaty.

Sometimes she wishes for the simplicity of Old Summer, because being barely conscious is preferable sometimes. And sometimes she wonders about New Summer, and it's become some sort of sick mantra; What Would New Summer Do? But In-Between Summer is who she is stuck with, and In-Between Summer's eyes don't open up enough.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He fell down off the roof, and she collapsed with him on his porch. They kissed sprawled in wet grass. She pulled away, puffy brown eyes glaring and furious. "You. Can't. Leave. Me," she said, emphasizing every word. "You are _not allowed_."

"I couldn't."

Too bad for Seth that Summer wasn't stupid and knew how the world worked.

It's not that she doesn't love him, because she does. But now there's an intense fear of him not coming back attached. The damage was done too well.

And she can't help but blame him.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Her hair was down. It smelled wonderful.

He is so close he can feel her pulse. And he notices when she breathes too hard, when her fingers dig into his stomach, and he stroked the skin along her thighs. He needs to be touching her, because she's still too far away.

She always was.

To him she is Unattainable Summer, and he's always hoping that maybe she's not, anymore. But his first impressions are almost always correct.

Marissa is a bitch. Ryan is a friend.

And Summer is far out of his reach.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

She looks almost innocent when thunder hits, as her eyes go wide and she buries her face in his chest.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

end.


End file.
